Some Streams of Consciousness on The Flash, Season 1, Episode 4

It’s Flash Time!

You know, kinda like ‘It’s Morphin’ Time!’ except that it’s not, and…oh, never mind.

So apparently there’s a guest star from Arrow / Green Bat Arrow Man this week. Yay?

  • Wait, that blonde with the glasses is the guest star? Yay! Hello Nurse!
  • Where are they getting this footage…oh, I forgot. Barry first appeared on Green Bat Arrow Man, before he became the Flash. Herp derp.
  • So before the accident, Barry didn’t have any other friends besides Iris? I’m…having trouble buying this. He doesn’t seem that terribly introverted, and is a super nice guy. I’m not saying he should be homecoming king, but the idea that he has no friends to hang out with is silly.
  • Multitasking at superspeed, playing chess with Dr. Ed-from-Ed, ping pong with Cisco, and Operation with Caitlin. Was it too much to ask them to play better board games, like Ticket to Ride or 7 Wonders?
  • Barry wins ping pong and Operation, but Dr. Ed-from-Ed beats Barry in chess. 2-1 ain’t bad. It’s a winning record, and will probably be better than my beloved Celtics will do this season. Oh yeah, NBA season began tonight! Woo hoo!
  • Flash tries to stop a theft, but isn’t able to capture the criminals, needing to superspeed a guard to a hospital.
  • One of the criminals has a Mr. Freeze Gun, so I’m guessing Captain Cold makes an appearance here.
  • Glad they’re sticking with Flash’s rogues gallery, as opposed to, let’s say a show, blatantly stealing from another superhero’s rogues gallery (cough…Arrow / Green Bat Arrow Man…cough.)
  • Detective Pretty Boy makes small talk with Joe about Iris. Technical foul right there.
  • Okay, it wasn’t a Mr. Freeze Gun earlier; it was a liquid nitrogen gun. Herp derp 2.
  • Wait, no CSI Vision this week? Maybe the producers finally figured out it was pushing the silliness too far? Or maybe Rocksteady called and told them to stop ripping off ‘Detective Mode’ from their Batman games?
  • Iris just shows up with coffee for Barry and Joe, but none for her boyfriend, Detective Pretty Boy. So, coffee for dad? Check. Coffee for best friend? Check. Coffee for boyfriend? Nope. What type of girlfriend is this?
  • Iris started an anonymous blog about the “streak” aka the Flash. Hey, I’m writing a blog on the the Flash. Kwinky-dink?
  • Ah, so that’s her name! Felicity Smoak, the guest star from arrow (yes, I looked up the spelling of her last name. First spelled it as ‘Smoke.’) just shows up out of nowhere to visit. Wait, really?
  • It bears repeating: Hello Nurse!
  • Bad guys having a meeting; big bad head shots a subordinate. Even Megatron wasn’t this evil, considering all the times he kept Starscream around even though the latter kept plotting to usurp leadership from Megatron.
  • “I came because I wanted to see you.” Wait, really?
  • Barry, I can buy you stink at reading women’s signals but this is just…bad. I mean, no one can be this oblivious…right? Or am I wrong? Who wrote this part?
  • Even if he’s not this oblivious and is holding out for Iris…look at who’s in front of you! Go for it already!
  • Barry shows off his superspeed to Felicity, who apparently was listening in when Barry visited Arrow / Green Bat Arrow Man way back in the pilot episode. Felicity works with Arrow / Green Bat Arrow Man in the same way Dr. Ed-from-Ed, Caitlin, and Cisco do.
  • Wait, NOW his shoes are smoking? Show, you can’t ignore that stuff for three episodes, than decide it’s relevant.
  • All I ask is you be consistent with your technobabble horse-poop.
  • Speaking of superspeed, here’s a great video on the physics of superspeed and how it simply wouldn’t work. Apparently, the heat from friction (molecules in the air) would burn our skin off at super high velocities. And that’s among other bad things that would happen. Promise, the video is worth watching.
  • Barry shows Star Labs to Felicity…including the super treadmill. Now that’s how you show a woman a good time!
  • Felicity does seem legitimately concerned about the changes in Barry.
  • Detective Pretty Boy tires to hash it out with Joe about Iris. Joe makes it clear they’re not friends. Okay, this relationship, I like.
  • Barry takes Felicity to the coffee shop where Iris works.
  • Iris invites Barry and Felicity to a trivia night for a double date. Wait…trivia night? So Barry is this nerdy science guy, and Iris isn’t…except when the show decides she is? Trivia night?
  • I now demand a scene in a game store, with Iris showing Barry how to play Ticket to Ride. Show, make it so!
  • “Barry, girls don’t just hop on trains and travel hundreds of miles to see someone they don’t like.” – EXACTLY! Even the show agrees with me.
  • Big bad inspects some super weapons. Ignores the Fire Pokemon starter / Gun, and chooses the Cold Pokemon starter / Gun instead.
  • The Mr. Freeze Gun was apparently stolen from Star Labs. Duh duh duuuhhh!
  • Captain Cold then kills the weapons dealer, because the show was concerned we wouldn’t think he’s evil enough.
  • Felicity shows up over-dressed, which of course ups the sex appeal of the show. Barry…make your move now. Do it now! Now!
  • I have no idea why that reference popped into my head.
  • Big bad at a museum, to scope out a diamond he wants to steal. Duh duh duuuhhh!
  • “Felicity is smart, nice, and pretty.” The show still agrees with me! Barry, what is wrong with you?
  • I can buy that Barry is into Iris and holding out, but…but…but…I can’t buy that Barry won’t even entertain the idea of going after Felicity. The show is really pushing the idea that they’re great together.
  • To top that all off, with his superspeed, it wouldn’t be much of a long-distance relationship. He can superspeed to her every single weekend, and twice on Sundays!
  • Wait, I got it! Felicity is on Arrow / Green Bat Arrow Man. That’s why it won’t work. Honestly, should have figured it out sooner. Herp derp 3.
  • Dr. Ed-from-Ed is angry at Cisco that he didn’t report the theft of the Mr. Freeze Gun immediately. Apparently, Cisco built it. Duh duh duuuhhh!
  • Captain Cold at the museum; coincidentally Joe is there and ID’s him immediately. Detective Pretty Boy is summoned. Barry suits up and follows.
  • Captain Cold just freeze gunned the road, causing a cop car to careen out of control.
  • Captain Cold almost freeze gunned Joe, but the Flash knocks him out of the way and gets hit. He’s still going though!
  • Captain Cold freeze guns an innocent bystander; Barry tries to outrun the blast but fails and innocent bystander is frozen, presumably killed and…Captain Cold just walks away while Flash is kneeling still right in front of frozen redshirt…Did he run out of ammo? Did he suffer brain damage as a child? Why isn’t he killing the Flash. We’ve seen him kill three people already! Did he accidentally leave the stove on? Who wrote this part?
  • Barry at Star Labs; third degree frost bite? Apparently without his healing factor it would have been much worse, and it slowed him down.
  • Cisco lets Barry and Felicity know he built the gun. He built it to stop Barry, and wanted to be prepared for the worse.
  • Uh-oh, Barry’s playing the trust and friend cards with Cisco, because someone died. D’OH! That’s a tough play to beat! Checkmate right there!
  • Joe comes home, and he and Iris hash it out over Detective Pretty Boy. Apparently, the last time he gave her the cold treatment was when she tried to sign up for the police academy, then withdrawing the application.
  • Joe is annoyed because he can’t focus 100% on Detective Pretty Boy as a partner; if the partner gets hurt, he’ll blame himself and she’ll blame him. That’s why the relationship is hard for him.
  • Captain Cold is going back to the museum, arguing with his subordinates. Subordinates leave him. They probably want to live.
  • Barry is blowing off steam by running on the superspeed treadmill.
  • Felicity gives Barry a pep talk, sharing how the Arrow / Green Bat Arrow Man team came together over time.
  • Captain Cold returns to museum, because he totally couldn’t steal the diamond last time. Nope, absolutely not.
  • Cisco figures out a way to track the freeze gun, but needs to hack into Central City’s network because of technobabble. Felicity can do it in one minute…wait, what? Do all Hollywood writers just assume the top students in Computer Science are all hacking experts?
  • Barry suits up, and turns off his communication thingie. He’s still pissed, apparently.
  • Joe and Detective Pretty Boy arrive on the scene. Joe orders Detective Pretty Boy to guard the entrance.
  • Prediction: Detective Pretty Boy will break up with Iris because he doesn’t want to be protected anymore and do his job properly. Iris will blame her dad.
  • Felicity implores Caitlin and Cisco to have the Flash’s back.
  • Detective Pretty Boy comes along anyways. Maybe my prediction is wrong.
  • Captain Cold freezes train from the inside; Flash has to save everyone on the train while Captain Cold gets away. Except Captain Cold doesn’t get away.
  • Flash gets hit with the Freeze Gun. Cisco shows up out of nowhere with Caitlin and Felicity and bluffs with a souped-up Freeze Gun that is actually a Hand Vaccuum. Captain Cold leaves. So…how did Cisco, Caitlin, and Felicity get there so fast? Star Trek transporter’s?
  • Barry forgives Cisco…aww…
  • Felicity leaves for home; hugs for Barry. Barry still won’t make a move. Booo!
  • So, Green Bat Arrow Man is not even called Green Arrow. Just “The Arrow.” Booo! It’s like The CW is ashamed that he’s called Green Arrow.
  • I mean, why didn’t Marvel re-name Hawkeye ‘The Hawk’ or Black Widow ‘The Widow’ or…okay, I give up.
  • Dr. Ed-from-Ed tells Cisco not to do anything like that again. Is he referring to the bluff / risking his life earlier, or referring to the creation of a Freeze Gun weapon that can take out the Flash?
  • Iris and Joe have a second heart-to-heart; so I guess my prediction won’t come true…or will it?
  • Uh-oh, Iris says “no more secrets.” So when Iris discovers Barry’s secret, she’ll scream betrayal at Barry and her father. That’s my new prediction.
  • Barry just shows up on Felicity’s train, which conveniently has no one else on it. Also, did Barry pay to get on the train?
  • Superspeed means the laws of society don’t apply to me.
  • Felicity calls out Barry on having a thing for Iris. Barry calls out Felicity on having a thing for Oliver / Green Bat Arrow Man. Wait, she has a thing for Green Bat Arrow Man. Booo. Booo!
  • Opposites attract; I get that, but come on show!
  • Barry kisses Felicity, but they’re not a couple. The show is a tease!
  • Show ends with Captain Cold giving some guy the Fire Starter Pokemon / Gun from earlier…wait, no evil Dr. Ed-from-Ed moment? Booo!
  • I’m booing a lot this week. Hoping to boo a lot less next week.

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