Some Streams of Consciousness on The Flash, Season 1, Episode 4

It’s Flash Time!

You know, kinda like ‘It’s Morphin’ Time!’ except that it’s not, and…oh, never mind.

So apparently there’s a guest star from Arrow / Green Bat Arrow Man this week. Yay?

  • Wait, that blonde with the glasses is the guest star? Yay! Hello Nurse!
  • Where are they getting this footage…oh, I forgot. Barry first appeared on Green Bat Arrow Man, before he became the Flash. Herp derp.
  • So before the accident, Barry didn’t have any other friends besides Iris? I’m…having trouble buying this. He doesn’t seem that terribly introverted, and is a super nice guy. I’m not saying he should be homecoming king, but the idea that he has no friends to hang out with is silly.
  • Multitasking at superspeed, playing chess with Dr. Ed-from-Ed, ping pong with Cisco, and Operation with Caitlin. Was it too much to ask them to play better board games, like Ticket to Ride or 7 Wonders?
  • Barry wins ping pong and Operation, but Dr. Ed-from-Ed beats Barry in chess. 2-1 ain’t bad. It’s a winning record, and will probably be better than my beloved Celtics will do this season. Oh yeah, NBA season began tonight! Woo hoo!
  • Flash tries to stop a theft, but isn’t able to capture the criminals, needing to superspeed a guard to a hospital.
  • One of the criminals has a Mr. Freeze Gun, so I’m guessing Captain Cold makes an appearance here.
  • Glad they’re sticking with Flash’s rogues gallery, as opposed to, let’s say a show, blatantly stealing from another superhero’s rogues gallery (cough…Arrow / Green Bat Arrow Man…cough.)
  • Detective Pretty Boy makes small talk with Joe about Iris. Technical foul right there.
  • Okay, it wasn’t a Mr. Freeze Gun earlier; it was a liquid nitrogen gun. Herp derp 2.
  • Wait, no CSI Vision this week? Maybe the producers finally figured out it was pushing the silliness too far? Or maybe Rocksteady called and told them to stop ripping off ‘Detective Mode’ from their Batman games?
  • Iris just shows up with coffee for Barry and Joe, but none for her boyfriend, Detective Pretty Boy. So, coffee for dad? Check. Coffee for best friend? Check. Coffee for boyfriend? Nope. What type of girlfriend is this?
  • Iris started an anonymous blog about the “streak” aka the Flash. Hey, I’m writing a blog on the the Flash. Kwinky-dink?
  • Ah, so that’s her name! Felicity Smoak, the guest star from arrow (yes, I looked up the spelling of her last name. First spelled it as ‘Smoke.’) just shows up out of nowhere to visit. Wait, really?
  • It bears repeating: Hello Nurse!
  • Bad guys having a meeting; big bad head shots a subordinate. Even Megatron wasn’t this evil, considering all the times he kept Starscream around even though the latter kept plotting to usurp leadership from Megatron.
  • “I came because I wanted to see you.” Wait, really?
  • Barry, I can buy you stink at reading women’s signals but this is just…bad. I mean, no one can be this oblivious…right? Or am I wrong? Who wrote this part?
  • Even if he’s not this oblivious and is holding out for Iris…look at who’s in front of you! Go for it already!
  • Barry shows off his superspeed to Felicity, who apparently was listening in when Barry visited Arrow / Green Bat Arrow Man way back in the pilot episode. Felicity works with Arrow / Green Bat Arrow Man in the same way Dr. Ed-from-Ed, Caitlin, and Cisco do.
  • Wait, NOW his shoes are smoking? Show, you can’t ignore that stuff for three episodes, than decide it’s relevant.
  • All I ask is you be consistent with your technobabble horse-poop.
  • Speaking of superspeed, here’s a great video on the physics of superspeed and how it simply wouldn’t work. Apparently, the heat from friction (molecules in the air) would burn our skin off at super high velocities. And that’s among other bad things that would happen. Promise, the video is worth watching.
  • Barry shows Star Labs to Felicity…including the super treadmill. Now that’s how you show a woman a good time!
  • Felicity does seem legitimately concerned about the changes in Barry.
  • Detective Pretty Boy tires to hash it out with Joe about Iris. Joe makes it clear they’re not friends. Okay, this relationship, I like.
  • Barry takes Felicity to the coffee shop where Iris works.
  • Iris invites Barry and Felicity to a trivia night for a double date. Wait…trivia night? So Barry is this nerdy science guy, and Iris isn’t…except when the show decides she is? Trivia night?
  • I now demand a scene in a game store, with Iris showing Barry how to play Ticket to Ride. Show, make it so!
  • “Barry, girls don’t just hop on trains and travel hundreds of miles to see someone they don’t like.” – EXACTLY! Even the show agrees with me.
  • Big bad inspects some super weapons. Ignores the Fire Pokemon starter / Gun, and chooses the Cold Pokemon starter / Gun instead.
  • The Mr. Freeze Gun was apparently stolen from Star Labs. Duh duh duuuhhh!
  • Captain Cold then kills the weapons dealer, because the show was concerned we wouldn’t think he’s evil enough.
  • Felicity shows up over-dressed, which of course ups the sex appeal of the show. Barry…make your move now. Do it now! Now!
  • I have no idea why that reference popped into my head.
  • Big bad at a museum, to scope out a diamond he wants to steal. Duh duh duuuhhh!
  • “Felicity is smart, nice, and pretty.” The show still agrees with me! Barry, what is wrong with you?
  • I can buy that Barry is into Iris and holding out, but…but…but…I can’t buy that Barry won’t even entertain the idea of going after Felicity. The show is really pushing the idea that they’re great together.
  • To top that all off, with his superspeed, it wouldn’t be much of a long-distance relationship. He can superspeed to her every single weekend, and twice on Sundays!
  • Wait, I got it! Felicity is on Arrow / Green Bat Arrow Man. That’s why it won’t work. Honestly, should have figured it out sooner. Herp derp 3.
  • Dr. Ed-from-Ed is angry at Cisco that he didn’t report the theft of the Mr. Freeze Gun immediately. Apparently, Cisco built it. Duh duh duuuhhh!
  • Captain Cold at the museum; coincidentally Joe is there and ID’s him immediately. Detective Pretty Boy is summoned. Barry suits up and follows.
  • Captain Cold just freeze gunned the road, causing a cop car to careen out of control.
  • Captain Cold almost freeze gunned Joe, but the Flash knocks him out of the way and gets hit. He’s still going though!
  • Captain Cold freeze guns an innocent bystander; Barry tries to outrun the blast but fails and innocent bystander is frozen, presumably killed and…Captain Cold just walks away while Flash is kneeling still right in front of frozen redshirt…Did he run out of ammo? Did he suffer brain damage as a child? Why isn’t he killing the Flash. We’ve seen him kill three people already! Did he accidentally leave the stove on? Who wrote this part?
  • Barry at Star Labs; third degree frost bite? Apparently without his healing factor it would have been much worse, and it slowed him down.
  • Cisco lets Barry and Felicity know he built the gun. He built it to stop Barry, and wanted to be prepared for the worse.
  • Uh-oh, Barry’s playing the trust and friend cards with Cisco, because someone died. D’OH! That’s a tough play to beat! Checkmate right there!
  • Joe comes home, and he and Iris hash it out over Detective Pretty Boy. Apparently, the last time he gave her the cold treatment was when she tried to sign up for the police academy, then withdrawing the application.
  • Joe is annoyed because he can’t focus 100% on Detective Pretty Boy as a partner; if the partner gets hurt, he’ll blame himself and she’ll blame him. That’s why the relationship is hard for him.
  • Captain Cold is going back to the museum, arguing with his subordinates. Subordinates leave him. They probably want to live.
  • Barry is blowing off steam by running on the superspeed treadmill.
  • Felicity gives Barry a pep talk, sharing how the Arrow / Green Bat Arrow Man team came together over time.
  • Captain Cold returns to museum, because he totally couldn’t steal the diamond last time. Nope, absolutely not.
  • Cisco figures out a way to track the freeze gun, but needs to hack into Central City’s network because of technobabble. Felicity can do it in one minute…wait, what? Do all Hollywood writers just assume the top students in Computer Science are all hacking experts?
  • Barry suits up, and turns off his communication thingie. He’s still pissed, apparently.
  • Joe and Detective Pretty Boy arrive on the scene. Joe orders Detective Pretty Boy to guard the entrance.
  • Prediction: Detective Pretty Boy will break up with Iris because he doesn’t want to be protected anymore and do his job properly. Iris will blame her dad.
  • Felicity implores Caitlin and Cisco to have the Flash’s back.
  • Detective Pretty Boy comes along anyways. Maybe my prediction is wrong.
  • Captain Cold freezes train from the inside; Flash has to save everyone on the train while Captain Cold gets away. Except Captain Cold doesn’t get away.
  • Flash gets hit with the Freeze Gun. Cisco shows up out of nowhere with Caitlin and Felicity and bluffs with a souped-up Freeze Gun that is actually a Hand Vaccuum. Captain Cold leaves. So…how did Cisco, Caitlin, and Felicity get there so fast? Star Trek transporter’s?
  • Barry forgives Cisco…aww…
  • Felicity leaves for home; hugs for Barry. Barry still won’t make a move. Booo!
  • So, Green Bat Arrow Man is not even called Green Arrow. Just “The Arrow.” Booo! It’s like The CW is ashamed that he’s called Green Arrow.
  • I mean, why didn’t Marvel re-name Hawkeye ‘The Hawk’ or Black Widow ‘The Widow’ or…okay, I give up.
  • Dr. Ed-from-Ed tells Cisco not to do anything like that again. Is he referring to the bluff / risking his life earlier, or referring to the creation of a Freeze Gun weapon that can take out the Flash?
  • Iris and Joe have a second heart-to-heart; so I guess my prediction won’t come true…or will it?
  • Uh-oh, Iris says “no more secrets.” So when Iris discovers Barry’s secret, she’ll scream betrayal at Barry and her father. That’s my new prediction.
  • Barry just shows up on Felicity’s train, which conveniently has no one else on it. Also, did Barry pay to get on the train?
  • Superspeed means the laws of society don’t apply to me.
  • Felicity calls out Barry on having a thing for Iris. Barry calls out Felicity on having a thing for Oliver / Green Bat Arrow Man. Wait, she has a thing for Green Bat Arrow Man. Booo. Booo!
  • Opposites attract; I get that, but come on show!
  • Barry kisses Felicity, but they’re not a couple. The show is a tease!
  • Show ends with Captain Cold giving some guy the Fire Starter Pokemon / Gun from earlier…wait, no evil Dr. Ed-from-Ed moment? Booo!
  • I’m booing a lot this week. Hoping to boo a lot less next week.

Some Streams of Consciousness on The Flash, Season 1, Episode 3

Things I’ve found out via the internet about the show:

  1. Full season has been ordered…I understand executives not wanting to put all their chips in at the start, but seriously, I could have told them all: this show will be successful, at least for a couple of seasons. No need to play the waiting game on this one. Not rocket science.
  2. Another alumni from the original live action Flash show will be making an appearance: Amanda Pays! Don’t know which episode she’ll appear in, or whether it’ll be a recurring role, but if the internet is correct, she’s playing a character named Dr. Tina McGee…which is what she was named in the original Flash show.

Enough babbling, onto me…pontificating about tonight’s episode:

  • Okay, if the show is going to constantly start with an opening narration by Barry, I hope the writer’s take advantage of this and reveal that he’s actually been talking to someone the entire time by the end of the first season or something to that effect. The only question is, who is he talking to? Iris? Ooohhh…how about a teenage Wally West? Or and old Jay Garrick? THAT would be uber-cool!
  • Wonder how Detective Pretty Boy feels about Barry & Iris going to the movies?
  • Zombies exist in nature in insects? Science adviser! Is this accurate? How has the Asylum not made a horrible movie about this yet, to appear on the SyFy network?
  • Iris crashing at her boyfriend’s place tonight! Strike…twenty-three for Barry?
  • Barry commits superheroics in plainclothes…how have his shoes not melted?
  • I am very questioning tonight…must be the headache / aspirin.
  • Mafia meeting? Followed by a green mist killing the guy running the meeting, as he chokes to death.
  • Joe brings up evidence from John Wesley Shipp’s case; they’ll go through it together.
  • Yep, bunch of mafioso’s killed by “poison gas” and they were locked in.
  • No CSI-Vision this week! I’m so disappointed.
  • Barry theorizes the gas had a mind of its own. Joe thinks they need to call in the reinforcements: Team Flash FTW!
  • Particle Accelerator can be modified to be a makeshift prison for meta-humans. That won’t end badly, at all.
  • Caitlin flashbacks to night of the accident, where she was apparently planning her honeymoon with her fiance.Things go south
  • Back in the present, Barry, sensing Caitlin doesn’t want to go check out the Particle Accelerator with Dr. Ed-from-Ed, invites her to help him at the police station.
  • Meanwhile, Joe is watching John Wesley Shipp being interrogated on a laptop.
  • Detective Pretty Boy comes by, to visit Iris, thinking Joe wouldn’t be there. Good job pretty boy. Good job. It’s called a smartphone. Messaging? Texting? Phone call?
  • Pretty boy is getting annoyed by keeping this a secret, but Iris claims her dad will kill them if he knew…buy why? Really, why? I can understand over-protective parents and all, but this is kinda silly, and has not been adequately explained. Is it because pretty boy’s a cop?
  • Cisco and Dr. Ed-from-Ed check out the Particle Accelerator. Cisco flashbacks to the night of the accident. Cisco and Caitlin’s fiance Ronnie try to save the day; but Ronnie doesn’t get back in time and Cisco has to close the blast door or everyone dies. Wow, he’s carrying around a lot of guilt, and hiding it well with nerdiness and workaholism.
  • Barry asks Caitlin about Ronnie; Caitlin opens up a bit.
  • “How did someone else’s DNA get inside the victims lungs?”
  • Barry theorizes the meta-human doesn’t control gas; he becomes gas.
  • Meanwhile, bad guy strikes again; Flash rushes to the mall and finds…uh, I’ll call him Gasman for now.
  • Slow-Motion Vision!
  • Flash’s punches go through Gasman; he gets poisoned.
  • Flash rushes to Star Labs; Caitlin gets a sample of the poison.
  • Flash survives, thanks to his healing factor, and goes to tell Joe.
  • Wait…what? This came out of no where? Barry admits to Joe that he wants to bust John Wesley Shipp out of prison, since he’s powerful enough to do so. Joe gives him some fatherly advice, but again, this just came out of no where.
  • Iris comes by the police station to visit Detective Pretty Boy; she’s never had a serious boyfriend…wait, what? I refuse to believe this. She kisses him in front of everyone, so I guess the secrets out.
  • Caitlin and Barry open up to each other; with Ronnie’s death and Barry’s mom’s death, and how running away from the pain doesn’t always work. So Barry escorts Caitlin to the Particle Accelerator.
  • Flashback to accident night; Ronnie radios Caitlin before he bites the big one (or did he?!)
  • HUGS!
  • Gas analysis finds poison mixed with a sedative given to people before execution. Lead detective on the case for Gasman was…Joe. Of course, it was Joe.
  • Joe is at the prison to talk to John Wesley Shipp; somehow, Gasman knows exactly where Joe is.
  • Caitlin reverse-engineered an antidote for the toxin.
  • Uh-oh, John Wesley Shipp and Joe aren’t friends. Joe is re-opening the case, and apologizes.
  • Gasman kills the guard; tries to kill Joe. Flash arrives with the anti-toxin. John Wesley Shipp sees the Flash; wonder if he knows the secret, just by body language, posture, etc.
  • Flash vs. Gasman, round two. Dr. Ed-from-Ed theorizes he can’t stay in gas form for long, so Flash keeps…running away. Eventually, he reforms into solid matter, and a Shoryuken…I mean superspeed punch wins the day.
  • Joe at the hospital; Barry sitting by his side…wait, is Iris too busy to be there?
  • Okay, Iris arrives just in the nick of time, with Detective Pretty Boy. Strike thirty-three for Barry.
  • Joe reveals he knew about their relationship all along.
  • Gasman is being held in the Particle Accelerator; trying to break out. Gee, I wonder which episode / season the prison will explode?
  • Cisco wants to tell Caitlin about the night of the explosion, but she’s okay, and the two get ice cream / drinks / both.
  • John Wesley Shipp and Barry have another heartfelt conversation about Barry’s mom / his wife.
  • I love how they block out the final minute to Dr. Ed-from-Ed being evil.
  • Flashback for Dr. Ed-from-Ed.
  • They reveal even before the night of the explosion, he had access to his super high-tech room, and he sees Barry, under surveillance, about to be struck by lightning.

Some Streams of Consciousness on The Flash, Season 1, Episode 2

So with my my nephews having left yesterday, I’m making some time for a blog post. I probably should catch up on D&D Encounters / Tyranny of Dragons, but to be perfectly honest…

I don’t feel like it. Primarily because they take a very long time for me to pump out, and partially because I’m under the weather.

So let’s return to The Flash with the 2nd episode that premiered a few days ago. They take about as much time to write as it takes to watch an episode. Yay!

  • 352 mph…that’s an oddly exact number. Wonder if there’s any significance, or maybe a writer pulled that number out of a hat?
  • Why is Cisco keeping helping Barry a secret from Caitlin. It makes no sense…
  • Flash saves people from a burning building. Yay!
  • That is a lot of fire in that building. I’m sure the suit can resist a great deal of heat, but what about the parts of his skin that aren’t covered? And where’s all the smoke? Shouldn’t Barry’s lungs be smoking right now? I’m adding smoke resistance to Barry’s list of superpowers.
  • After saving people from the burning building, it looks like he’s having issues breathing; even takes off his mask…in broad daylight. His identity should no longer be a secret soon enough.
  • This is an opportunity for a future episode where someone finds out his secret identity (like on a hidden camera) and gives Barry a lecture: “Don’t take off your mask in public, dumb ass! You never know who’s watching!”
  • Caitlin is annoyed at Barry helping people, but is fine with him trying to stop meta-humans…you know, helping people.
  • Uh-oh, Barry’s vitals spiked for a few moments according to his super sensor suit.
  • Barry forgot his clothes on a way to a crime scene, so he improvises by going into a nearby store to…wait, did he just steal clothes?
  • Barry’s doing his CSI-vision again! Seriously, the show even overlays special effects over the foot prints. $10 someone played one of the Batman Arkham games, and got the idea from Batman’s ‘Detective Vision’ Also, $10 this same person is being hailed as a genius, and got a promotion / raise.
  • Joe, Iris’s dad, makes sure Barry hasn’t told her about his super-powers.
  • Uh-oh, flashback to kid Barry with kid Iris and Joe. “You’re not my father, so you can’t tell me what to do…I hate you!” Yep, surrogate father figure.
  • Centrifuge is on the fritz, but Barry can shake up compounds in test tubes at superspeed.
  • Iris blames Barry for taking journalism. I can only wonder what she blamed him for when he was in a coma for nine months.
  • Iris and Detective Pretty Boy, to remind us all that…they have about as much chemistry as…as…okay, I got nothing.
  • Barry and Iris attend some award talk by Simon Stagg, man of the year, for his- work on cellular regeneration and cloning.
  • Detective Pretty Boy’s name is Eddie…who knew?
  • Iris laments not spending enough quality time with Barry. Looks like Barry is going to attempt admitting his feelings again, but robbery in progress.
  • Barry superspeeds, saves a security officer, but suddenly passes out.
  • Dizzy spells; Caitlin is freaking out. “In science we share! We don’t keep secrets!”
  • Gonna have Barry run on the treadmill from hell. Everything is okay, except for…the glucose levels, which is why he keeps passing out. They took this from the original Flash show, where he had to eat like a pig.
  • Joe discover’s Barry’s newpaper clippings on his mom’s death / John Wesley Shipp’s accusation. Flashback to him trying to find kid Barry.
  • Fast-forward to pesent where Joe finds Barry at Star Labs.
  • Joe and Barry have it out, soap opera style! Joe the father figure even slips and calls Barry his kid. Barry insists that he’s not.
  • One of the robbers has it out with some hired muscle, gets punched, and splits into five of himself, beating up the guard.
  • The hired muscle was Simon Stagg’s security guard, who’s now dead.
  • Uh-oh, Iris can tell her dad is mad at Barry. Iris is mad at Barry too; he keeps missing appointments with her, because he’s…flaky?
  • In a strange sequence, he superspeeds around her so fast she can’t tell, and wants to tell her about his superspeed, how he feels about her, but can’t…okay, if you’re moving fast enough where the human eye can’t detect you, wouldn’t there be other effects that can be perceived, like…a sonic boom? Papers flying everywhere? Science adviser, anyone?
  • Twenty lawsuits on Simon Stagg.
  • Clone Killer is shooting up Stagg industries; naturally Joe and Detective Pretty Boy are there.
  • After his pitiful, Cobra-esque shooting performance last week, Joe takes out two clones…he’s been practicing! But see’s Clone Killer clone himself.
  • Flash to the rescue!
  • Flash…gets his arse handed to him. He’s not exactly trained in combat, but he also doesn’t use his superspeed when he fights…did they run out on the special effects budget, or realized that they needed a way to stretch out the episode 20 more minutes?
  • Dr. Ed-from-Ed explains that Danton Black the big bad, apparently had his research stolen by Simon Stagg. Cisco dubs him Captain Clone.
  • Barry’s arse-kicking has him doubting himself, despite Dr. Ed-from-Ed’s clichéd you have to crash a few times before you learn how to fly speech.
  • Barry has a flashback to when he went to visit John Wesley Shipp in prison as a kid. I gotta give the show credit; the kid they got to play kid Barry, you’d swear is going to grow up to look like the guy who play’s adult Barry. Same facial expressions, etc.
  • John Wesley Shipp didn’t want kid Barry to see him like this…
  • So the news has Detective Pretty Boy as the Hero who saved the CEO…how is it possible Joe didn’t get the credit?
  • Dr. Ed-from-Ed went to visit Joe, and bumps into Simon Stagg, whom he apparently has a rocky relationship with.
  • Dr. Ed-from-Ed thinks Barry’s greatest enemy is doubt, and is insistent as long as Joe doubts him, Barry will doubt himself.
  • For the record, Dr. Ed-from-Ed also cares about Barry too…father figure square!
  • Uh-oh, Iris wants to write a journalism article on the mysterious red streak.
  • Caitlin took some of Captain Clone’s blood (from Barry’s Flash suit), and managed to create a ‘replicant’ It stands there motionless; the clones are ‘receivers,’ so take out the ‘prime’ and in theory the remaining clones go down. Also theorizing the ‘prime’ will be under stress to control all those clones.
  • Joe conveniently shows up at Star Labs to admit he and the police can’t take on meta-humans and tells Barry to go stop Captain Clone. Barry’s confidence digivolves to champion level.
  • Barry saves Stagg; Stagg gives exposition on how he was going to use his clone research to gives his wife new organs that were failing her.
  • That is a lot of clones…looks like a walker herd.
  • Barry doubts himself again, but Joe reassures him through the once more. Barry’s confidence digivolves to ultimate level.
  • Barry wins, but Captain Clone ends up falling out a window to his death.
  • Cisco has renamed Captain Clone to Multiplex…
  • Barry gives his obligatory thanks to Cisco, Caitlin, and Dr. Ed-from-Ed. They were all struck by that lightning! They’re a team now! Go Go Flash Rangers!
  • Joe brings Barry three pizza’s. Peperoni, olives, and jalepenos is apparently Barry’s favorite topping combo for pizza…not sure I’d like that. I admit, I’m a wimp when it comes to hot food.
  • Joe insists he and Barry will figure out what happened Barry’s mom, and get John Wesley Shipp out of prison.
  • Barry admits that Joe is like a father to him. It’s a touching scene.
  • So to recap we have: John Wesley Shipp (actual father), Joe (father figure who raised him), And Dr. Ed-from-Ed (Scientist father figure.) Father figure square!
  • Caitlin just did a 180; she’s totally on board the Flash Rangers!
  • Dr. Ed-from-Ed visits Simon Stagg. Stagg insists that he’ll find the Flash. Dr. Ed-from-Ed stabs and kills him, insisting that the fastest man alive must be kept safe.
  • Power roundup: Smoke-Inhalation Resistance, CSI-Vision, Slow-Motion Vision, Super-speed, Super-healing, Socially awkward, Nerdy, Flaky / Forgetful with appointments with Iris, In-love/lust-with-a-girl-that’s-just-not-that-into-him.

Some Streams of Consciousness on The Flash, Season 1, Episode 1

And now for something a little bit different. First, I should note that I have family in town, and this combined with work has been the primary reason why there have been no blog posts on running D&D Encounters on Wednesdays. To top that all off, my twenty-month year old twin nephews transferred their cold to me at some point, so I’m somewhat miserable, and just a bit cranky at the moment. I hate being sick. Detest it with the furious passion of a thousand suns.

Anyways, it may or may not be terribly obvious, but writing the D&D Encounters posts sometimes feels like work. Or to put it another way, there’s a degree of tedium that comes with it, probably because they take forever to write. When I was a player writing those posts, I took copious amounts of notes while playing, so it was much easier for me to spit them out. As the DM, there’s zero time to write notes while you’re running the game, so I have to rely on my memory, which fails and frustrates me periodically.

And did I mention that they take forever now?

So with less time than usual, and the desire to write about something else other than D&D Encounters, finding something else to blog about is more than welcome. Something refreshing. And I think I may have found it in The Flash, which premiered a few days ago.

Not only am I  a gamer, I’m pretty much a comic book superhero nerd, sports fan, anime / manga fan…I’m complicated. Anywho, while the Flash is hardly a favorite of mine, I was a huge fan of the short-lived live action series from the 90’s.

Even though it’s set in the ‘Arrow’ universe (which I don’t watch because it’s basically  Batman with a bow-and-arrow in my opinion,) I thought I’d give it a chance.

I should also say that this shouldn’t be treated as a straight review; there are a million of those on the internet that are probably better written and more critical / analytical / intelligent than this will be. This is just the thoughts that come to mind while watching. Hence, streams of consciousness.

  • Ooohhh, ‘Flash’ vision. (first person view while running at superspeed.) I like it.
  • Running away from bullies as a kid, followed by the ‘You have a big heart.’ speech from the mom. Latter hits a bit close to home. Sadly, I’m not sure having a big heart really matters all that much nowadays. Superficial, snarky, witty dickishness are much more sexy, cool, and important. Barry, you are officially screwed for the series. And I’m screwed for life. Actually, I now predict there will be an episode / series of episodes where for inexplicable reasons (Superman had red kryptonite), Barry will become a bit of an a-hole.
  • Holy crap! Kid Barry’s dad is played by John Wesley Shipp. He played the Flash in the 90’s television show I mentioned. Nice callback. Two thumbs up there.
  • Barry Allen is late getting to a crime scene. This also means he’s a gamer at heart. Most gamers I know are always late.
  • He also apparently has the super-power to look at tire marks and know key details about it. CSI-vision? Even Superman doesn’t have that.
  • Hellooo Nurse! Iris West is beautiful.
  • So they’re playing the unrequited love interest angle in this show. Cliche, or original?
  • Iris’s dad is a cop…and wait, is Barry a forensics guy or a particle physicist? Because he apparently built a particle accelerator / atom smasher / technobabble dohickey in his lab…is he independently wealthy? It has to be more expensive than a Playstation 4? Or an XBox One? You don’t just build something like that on the cheap…well, unless you’re MacGyver, or MacGruber.
  • So when Barry tries to get out of the friend zone with Iris, we learn they basically grew up together, and she assumes that he’s nervous about coming to her for advice about women and relationships, and assures him that he can come to her at anytime. Strike one!
  • Barry is an awkward, social misfit. Is one of the writers from Big Bang Theory working on this show? Cliche, or original?
  • Hey, it’s Ed from ‘Ed’ playing some guy named Harrison Wells! From now on, he is Doctor Ed-from-Ed. Barry seems enamored with his work.
  • “Love” triangle alert? Or is it a lust triangle? Iris is interested in a pretty boy detective? Cliche, or original?
  • Newspaper articles detailing that Barry’s doctor father is accused of murdering his mother. Nooo! Say it ain’t so, John Wesley Shipp!
  • Iris’s father in an intense cop shootout! Iris’s father’s cop partner is hurt! Iris’s father went to the Cobra school of firearms training! He can’t hit the broad side of a barn.
  • Star labs particle accelerator sends out a pulse wave that appears to be harmless to buildings, but takes out the airplane where the criminal was trying to escape.
  • Weird pulse wave can also apparently affect the weather, as a lightning bolt strikes Barry, knocking him into a bunch of chemicals. Classic Flash origin story. Two thumbs up.
  • Iris is at the hospital; if this doesn’t make them a couple when Barry recovers, this counts for a double strike-out! I mean, what else could it possible take for her to realize: ‘Oh, I really love him!’ Amputate a limb? Cut out an eye?
  • 9 months later….
  • Barry wakes up, presumably from a coma at Star Labs, being looked over by two scientists.
  • Lightning gave him abs…who knew?
  • Doctor Ed-from-Ed, now confined to an Xavier-esque wheelchair, gives us exposition. The night the particle accelerator blew up killed 17 people, and injured many more, including him.
  • The pulse wave DID create the lightning bolt. Along with theoretical forms of energy. Dark matter! Coffee-flavored potato chips! Twinkies! Insane!
  • Iris works at a coffee shop now, and sees Barry awake. If this near-death experience doesn’t make them a couple, this counts for a double strike-out too
  • Barry can now see things in slow motion! Add slow-motion vision to his powers on top of CSI-vision. And abs.
  • Some guy that can control the weather robs a bank. Looks like the guy that shot Iris’s dad’s partner.
  • Iris’s dad is the Commission Gordon / Alfred of the show to Barry.
  • Show is hinting that pretty boy detective and Iris are now dating. Strike two, three, four and five for Barry. Friend zone forever and ever.
  • How many strikes will we get to before Barry hits a home run in the most unrealistic way possible.
  • Iris’s dad’s former partner bit the dust, and is now partnered with pretty boy.
  • Super speed!
  • Alley-ways are always empty on superhero shows and movies.
  • Shouldn’t the rubber on his shoes be burning?
  • Doctor-Ed-from-Ed and his two lab assistants, Cisco and Caitlin, are testing Barry’s abilities.
  • Cisco…they named him after a router company?
  • If I ever have a kid, I’m naming him / her Apple. Or Google. Or NBA. Or NFL.
  • Caitlin also deserves a Hellooo nurse!
  • Uh-oh, Caitlin’s fiance was killed by that pulse wave. Which means the inevitable romantic relationship between her and Barry will be awkward.
  • So I’m predicting a love square now: Barry, Iris, Caitlin, and pretty boy detective.
  • Which, like a Venn Diagram, will overlap with Cisco jones-ing for Caitlin.
  • Barry can run over two-hundred miles per hour.
  • Barry having a flashback to his childhood when his Mom is killed, where she’s surrounded by the same super-fast streaks Barry makes when he runs superfast. Also, we briefly see a ghostly image of a yellow Flash. Assuming they’re foreshadowing what I think they’re foreshadowing, two thumbs up from me.
  • Barry runs into barrels of water! Hurts his wrist.
  • Healing factor like Wolverine! So far, we got CSI-vision, Slow-motion vision, Super-speed, and Super-healing. And abs.
  • Pretty boy detective and Iris confirmed to be dating. Because the show was so subtle about it.
  • Barry sees them kiss. Awkward! Strike six? Naaah, that’d just be cruel.
  • Wait, pretty boy detective and Iris are keeping their relationship a secret from Iris’s dad? Her reasoning behind this so far is…lame.
  • Barry super speeds into a getaway car with the weather-controlling robber from earlier…wait, you can flip a speeding car by just jerking the wheel suddenly?! Has Michael Bay confirmed this?
  • Barry and weather-controlling robber easily survive car flip that would / should kill almost anyone.
  • The weather-controlling robber is the guy who killed Iris’s father’s partner and the guy who was in the airplane that was destroyed by the pulse wave that only affects airplanes, people at ground zero, Barry, and absolutely nothing else.
  • Barry’s dad is in prison for the murder of his wife / Barry’s mom. Nooo! John Wesley Shipp, say it ain’t so!
  • Pulse wave, according to Doctor-Ed-from-Ed apparently created a bunch of meta-humans. This feels like the kryptonite freaks trend from the first season of Smallville. Or Power Rangers. Villain of the week, here we come!
  • Doctor-Ed-from-Ed doesn’t want Barry to play the hero. Because…reasons.
  • Barry’s rubber on his shoes can handle running at over 200 mph. Is that…accurate?
  • Barry runs to Starling City to get advice from Batman..I mean Green Arrow…I mean Arrow. Seriously, what was wrong with this portrayal of Green Arrow?
  • Live version of this portrayal of Green Arrow. would have been infinitely more awesome than dark, gritty, second-rate Batman.
  • Barry is not sure he can be a vigilante, but Green-Bat-Arrow-Man is sure that he can inspire people, be a guardian angel, be the hero he can never be…cliche, or original? Oh, and he should wear a mask. I would have liked the speech better if they got Gary Oldman to give it.
  • Barry went over unsolved cases from the time he was in a coma, and finds ton of unexplained crap. He pleads his case to Cisco and Caitlin. Cisco shows off the Flash suit, made from firefighter tri-polymer technobabble with built-in sensors for violating your personal space and uploading what you’re doing / thinking to social media. Not sure if it was designed by Google or Apple.
  • Iris’s dad and pretty boy detective corner weather wizard, who loves to preach the gospel, in a barn. He uses his weather powers to…fart them away? Follows that up with a tornado.
  • Iris’s dad is almost crushed by a roof, but is saved by Barry suited up.
  • Barry runs around it in the opposite direction of the tornado, but needs to break 700 mph to unravel it. Tornado is making its way towards the city, so he’s gotta try before people get hurt…wait, is this scientifically accurate? Scientific adviser?
  • Barry fails on his first try.
  • Doctor Ed-from-Ed does a 180, admitting he should take responsibility for the Pulse wave, gives Barry a pep talk.
  • Take two; Barry wins. Round three? Nope.
  • Barry takes off his mask…crap, are they doing the Spider-Man movie route, where we see Tobey Maguire’s in costume but without his mask all the time? Please don’t go that route, please don’t go that route…
  • Weather wizard points a gun at Barry. Round three, fight!
  • Never mind; Barry is saved by Iris’s dad when he shoots Weather wizard. I guess even someone trained at Cobra Academy gets lucky sometimes. Anywho, Iris’s dad sees Barry in costume, since he conveniently had his mask off.
  • I guess he now believes in the impossible now, believes Barry’s dad is innocent, believes what Barry saw when he was a kid, etc.
  • He also asks Barry to not tell Iris about his powers. Over / under on how many episodes / seasons it’ll take to break that promise? Followed by the betrayal of trust angle by Iris (you should have told me sooner! You don’t trust me, even though you do everything else for me!) and Iris’s dad (you should never have told her!) Barry cannot win. Ever.
  • Barry visiting John Wesley Shipp in prison. Honestly, it’s a touching father / son scene.
  • Wait, if Iris’s dad is the Commissioner Gordon / Alfred/ surrogate father figure to Barry, and Barry’s dad is…Barry’s dad, and Doctor-Ed-from-Ed also might pick up some of the father figure slack…these three are coming to blows in the future. That’s my prediction, and I’m sticking to it.
  • Cisco adds the lightning bolt to the Flash costume. Why is it shaped like a lightning bolt, Caitlin asks Cisco? So that it’s not boring. Eh, good enough reason. Works better than ‘DC Entertainment / Warner Brothers told me to do so.’
  • Wait, Green-Bat-Arrow-Man gave the Flash his name, all because he told him to save people “in a flash” during his pep talk? Booo. Thumbs down. Booo.
  • Uh-oh, Doctor-Ed-from-Ed doesn’t need a wheelchair after all. In a secret room, he reads a holographic newspaper from April 2024. Headline: Flash Missing, Vanishes in Crisis…wait, is that how he made his fortune? Betting on sports games that he knows the outcome to, like Biff from Back to the Future 2?
  • Wait, there’s no awful boy band music playing at the end? A nice departure from typical shows on this network. Stay the course, Flash! Stay the course!
  • Power roundup: CSI-Vision, Slow-Motion Vision, Super-speed at 700 mph, Super-healing, Six-pack abs, Socially awkward, Nerdy, Perpetually late, In-love/lust-with-a-girl-that’s-just-not-that-into-him.

Okay, I liked this premier. Much better than Marvel’s Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (Sorry Clark Gregg!) though I am looking forward to Agent Carter when that premieres.